Just another hoodie girl.

They don’t know much about me, with their curiosity and judging eyes, whsipering among their friends as if I have committed a crime. What are they up to? Do I look weird? Is it because of my outfit? Am I scary? But mom said you can’t judge a book by its cover.

I tried to blend in with the group of so called my future classmates, or maybe not. ‘Hi’, I said. They still ongoing their nonsensical conversation. I walked away with disappointment.

There’s a bunch of girls walking towards me, I stepped back. They welcomed me with a huge warm hug. Their smile are the greatest, brightest smile I ever seen after so many years of tears and cries I used to shower myself alone in my favorite corner. I introduced myself-

Hi, I’m Crystal from January intake 2015. Group 8, yes, that’s my class. I enjoy biology, chemistry and mathematics especially trigonometry. Free time? Ermm.. Movies, not the romantic one. One last thing, I love wearing hoodies, I feel safe and comfortable.

Unexpectedly, they are now my closest, craziest, kindest friends I ever had in my life.


IMG_1736Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset


Cauliflower pizza crust

Chef in disguise

I love cauliflower.I know many people hear the word cauliflower and turn up their noses but believe me, if you are one of those, you are seriously missing out. Cauliflower on its own can be bland, I agree, but with the right spices and herbs it becomes irresistible! If you don’t believe me, try my cauliflower fritters or makloubeh or cauliflower sushi salad or stop by Sally’s blog and try her amazing cauliflower creation. I can guarantee any  of these recipes will ensure that cauliflower will be at the top of your shopping list in no time.

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… on something I saw and something I wished

just ponderin'

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Getting ready to go home.


Love me enough to button my shirt
When my fingers won’t function
And my hands sometimes hurt


Smile, don’t sneer, when I can’t find a word
Or I use the wrong one
Or a few come out slurred


Repay you with memories, of sixty-odd years
Our laughter, our sorrows
Our joys, and our fears

And I’ll…

Tell you bad jokes, but they’ll all make you smile
And I’ll hold your old hand
You’ll hold mind for a while

And we’ll…

Laugh in the faces of age and of time
Shouting ‘screw you!’ to death
(It’s a victimless crime)


I will go first, or it just might be you
But I’ll never be one soul
I will always be two.

Thanks for readin’.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYou can click on over to Just Ponderin’s Facebook page to comment ❤

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Why I’m Not “Good People”

Jenny's Library

I’m not a nice person.

I’m not a good person.

I’m not a kind person.

This isn’t to say that I don’t ever try to be any of these three things.  I do, especially the last two.

It’s more to say that, for me, surviving in this cissexist, racist, ableist, heteronormative, classist, often fucked up world of ours has involved rejecting the idea that “good” and “bad” are static states of being.  I will never be a “good person” because, to me, “good” is not something that you achieve.  It’s an ongoing process that never ends.

It is, in fact, almost impossible not to be doing bad things as well as good when you are human and therefore flawed.  Especially when you are part of a messed up system, as we all are.

This, to me, is why it’s important to call out bad behavior, or hurtful language, or even…

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Walt Disney, our childhood hero ❤︎

Walt Disney was an American motion-picture and television producer. His is also the co-founder of The Walt Disney Company, creator ofThe DisneyLand. He is everyone’s childhood hero.

Quotes by Walt Disney

  • “There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.”
Walt Disney with Mickey Mouse

Walt Disney with Mickey Mouse

  • “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”


  • “Money doesn’t excite me–my ideas excite me.”
  • “[Y]ou’ll not find a single mousetrap around the house. I’ve never forgotten it was a mouse that made me what I am today.”


  • “The age we’re living in is the most extraordinary the world has ever seen. There are new concepts of things, and we now have the tools to change those concepts into realities. We are moving forward.”
  • “Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows.”
  • “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter. With the laugh comes the tears and in developing motion pictures or television shows, you must combine all the facts of life — drama, pathos and humor.”


  • “All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.”
  • “Everybody in the world was once a child. We grow up. Our personalities change, but in every one of us something remains of our childhood.”

Knowing how to laugh at yourself instead of blaming for your own weaknesses will make you happier. No one’s perfect after all.

To laugh yourself is to love yourself. – Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse 

Mickey Mouse, January 13 1930

Mickey Mouse, January 13 1930

FunFacts about Mickey Mouse! 
  1. Mickey Mouse’s original name was Mortimer but Lillian convince him to change “Mortimer” to “Mickey
  2. Mickey Mouse was really born in 1927 on a train going from California to New York. Then somewhere between Chicago and L.A
  3. The angle of Mickey’s Ears is exactly 105 degrees, the same angle as the bonds in water.

Here’s an old Mickey Mouse Cartoons 2 hours long. Enjoy!

Reflective Assignment #2

Reflective Questions

  1. What are the lessons I have learnt in this module?
  • After learning these throughout a week, I have finally realised what I am and who I want to be. I discovered myself deeper and trying to improve my personality and flaws.

     2. I will apply the lessons I learnt in this module as a student from now on

  • Apply TGC in everyday life.
  • Built up my communication skills
  • Foster relationship between college mates

3. I will apply the lessons I have learnt in here as an individual from now on

  • Built up my confidence
  • Expand my thinking skills
  • Improve my personality

Poor                    1st Class
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Please rate the application possibility of this session

Poor                    1st Class
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Reflective Assignment #1

Reflecting on TGC

Recently I have joined a community service which held in Batu Muda, it was a residence area with low cost flats. My college mates and I formed a group and were given instructions and tasks to convince the residents to have medical check up including BMI, blood glucose level, blood pressure level as there was a diseases spreading within the areas and has caused death. Therefore, we were asked to knock on each door in every floor. In this case, we have developed interpersonal skills in TGS which understand the team dynamics and mobilise the power of teams as I am the leader of the team.

At the beginning, we were all self ready and very confident that we would convinced most of families and individuals to examine their health but then we realised it was not as easy as it seemed. Some of the residents were quite stubborn as they unwilling to leave the house to do check up. Anyhow, this didn’t stopped us from convincing them. We continued to convince them but in a different way of interpreting the purpose of having this programme. Surprisingly, most of the residents started to register and wiling take a step out of their house to check their health. In doing so we realised that changing the style of interpreting by thinking critically and creatively could helped us to define an analyse problems to arrive at effective solutions. Besides, I also developed an interpersonal skills to manage oneself and be self-reliant by reflecting on one’s actions and learning, thus, we changed the way of our interpreting skills.

After hours have passed by, we had finally came to an end. Our programme achieved a successful outcome and it was said to be the most outstanding one compared with last year’s result. This has proved that good results came from a well communication between the members. TGC helped me to develop communication skills which allowed me to communicate appropriately without offending others.

I found that using these TGC skills would help me a lot in my life as it helped me to built up my self confidence and my personality. However, in the future programme, I hope we could use the digital literacy to make use of the ICT and technologies by spreading the community service so that we could gain more helpers and extra hands.

Community Service Members



Specific- A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal.

  • I want to accomplish my goals which is achieving excellent results in order to obtain scholarship and enter the top best medical school which located in United Kingdom. I have a draft plan which hopefully I will become a gynaecology or paediatrics in 7 years time. The purpose for me accomplishing this goals are to decrease the burden on both of my parent’s shoulder. It is also my dream to assist people who in need. Babies are adorable, they give me a sign of happiness and hope which reminds me to appreciate our lives, time, family, friends and the nature.

Measurable-Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set.

  • In order to achieve my goals, I am saving up my every week allowance I receive from my parents so that I could lessen my parents finance issue. When I have enough amount of money, I would use it for my cost-living in overseas country.

Attainable- When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true.

  • I have a very positive attitude which always motivate myself to work harder and never give up half way. Double my efforts I require to put in my academics and curriculums. Besides, I will also contribute myself more to the community by volunteering in hospital which also benefits me to gain experience and acknowledge the insight of the hospital. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

Realistic- To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work.

  • A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Hence, I set my goals high to motivate myself to study hard, work hard so I could be the most outstanding. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love. Therefore, I always tell myself everyday, ‘Don’t work for money, work for the sake of love, passion.’

Time-based- A goal should be grounded within a time frame.

  • I believe that I could graduate in another 7 years time and become the my dream career.